Suicide Methods took nearly ten years to begin writing. At first I thought against this writing project. Then I thought that someone might benefit. I do not endorse suicide. See my suicide cleanup notes below.
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Suicide Letters
My suicide cleanup began with an intention to remain "objective." This did not last long. Too many pieces of concrete information came into view when working at suicide cleanup across the US. To date I have cleaned up after suicides in 24 states. See Orange County Consumer Fraud if you want to know why I cannot earn a living in a large county like Orange County, California.
I found few special facts among the death scenes I took responsibility for cleaning. Suicide notes were rare. The few notes I did find gave little real information about the suicide victim's choice for self-murder. Here's a couple of examples:
- I don't want to go back to the Navy.
- Take care of my cat and I'm sorry.
- Father Samuals, please forgive me for this terrible act. I can no longer stand the pain. I can never hope to pay for my medical bills or my credit card bills. Thank you for all of your help. God bless you.
Had I remained objective and minded my own business, I would not have read these notes. Numbers 1 and 2 were written on single sheets of paper. Simply pickup these papers and causally reading informed me that these were not important papers in a legal sense, but, perhaps, important for family members. So i did have a duty to retrieve these documents.
It took me three days to complete death cleanup for the number 1 suicide. This victim had navy uniforms and quite a bit of property in his two bedroom apartment. Apparently, he ranked well in the Navy. I understand that currently, military personnel make fairly good money compared to the US working class and faltering middle-class. This sailor had no family in the same state, so his family received hajjis personal property at Navy expense.
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Number 1's note leaves no meaningful context to place his suicide within. At the time of this cleanup I suspected that, perhaps, he created large gambling debts among his shipmates. Maybe he was intimidated by his peers or a more senior sailor or senior sailors. Some suicides find that other people are "hell." I would concur with this feeling. This victim suffered a shotgun blast to the face.
Number 2's note left little more than a direction to care for a loving pet. It seems odd that he suicide victim did not go further with directions for this love object. We're not even given a name. This brief note probably took a few seconds to scribble out. Perhaps it came as a last minute thought.
This suicide cleanup took place in a rather upper middle-class home. A male suicide, perhaps in his mid-thirties by the appearance of his clothes and types of magazines and music available to him, he appeared to have no nearby relatives. As in the first suicide cleanup above, I received my marching directions from responsible parties living out of state.
This second suicide victim also chose a firearm, by a handgun, perhaps a 38 caliber handgun. He bleed out and eventually decomposed over a one week period. In cases as this one, a suicide cleanup becomes a decomposition cleanup as well. This job took one day. At the time of cleaning, I was unclear who he had in mind as an audience.
My last example, number 3 above, took place in a new car. The female suicide victim took care to limit damage. Although, as so often happens, the force of a handgun going off exceeds the suicide victim's expectations. She did not die instantly. This allowed her heart to continue pumping blood on to the driver's seat and surrounding floor below.
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Since the vehicle was not on a hill, the massive amount of blood remained in a fairly fixed location. No migration occurred, I mean. She planed to have her body found soon after her suicide. Dialing 911, she gave the local police her location and that lead to her subsequent quick removal. I learned these facts from the body shop in charge of the vehicle.
Like so many other female suicide victims, this one took care to control their exit's biological aftermath. Young and middle-age men rarely take such care. I have found, interestingly, that older men take great care as they plan and execute their suicides. Usually by handgun, they place a pillow over their head and then place a handgun under the pillow. The following blast often retain a good deal of the bio matter. However, blood still makes it way through bedding, mattress, box springs, carpet, and two layers of latex adhered to the carpet's bottom Then blood finally makes its way through carpet padding. Still, the debris remains centered, rather than splattered about their place of death.
Generally, pets do not survive an older many's suicide. The pet goes first. It becomes clear to me in most if not all cases involving the execution of a pet, care goes into the killing. Usually placed in a chair with a towel or blanket under and upon the animal, usually a small dog, one bullet does the job. Then the master follows. I'm sure there's a lot of love between master and pet. Leaving a pet behind remains a though choice when there's no family available. From my own experience, I cannot abide by my dog going to a local pound, ever. I'd rather that he not survive to experience this trauma.
We know form history that gentlemen chose to have their horse destroy following their own death. I would think this type of animal execution insured that the master's horse would never experience wanting or suffer pain from an unfriendly owner.
It seems impossible to cleanup rooms and other places many times without contemplating suicide. I suspect that just about everyone contemplates suicide at one time or another. Some contemplate suicide from an early age, plan their type of exit, and set an age if not a date. Then they carry out their early plan. We know about these planning episodes by youthful suicide planers because of mental health hospitals and psychoanalytical research.
We also know from experience, even as suicide cleanup practitioners, that some suicides occur on the spur-of-the-moment. My first suicide cleanup took place in just such a manner. The male suicide victim received information pegging him as a pedophile. As a grade school teacher he knew the coming shame and facing his family would create too much duress for all concerned. He chose suicide.
In the process of performing his suicide act he first tried medication, which appeared to have caused vomiting. Then he tried a razor, which left some blood stains in his bathroom and bedroom Still not quick enough, he tried hanging himself in is bedroom closet with a sheet. He finally went the distance with the most efficient means available. A large deer rifle. I learned more from this first suicide cleanup then from any cleaning since.
I continue to learn from my cleaning experiences. I also continue to gawk at the suicide methods chosen by people. In my readings I've tried to find a correlation between personality types the the suicide methods chosen; I've yet to find such a correlation, but for males and females.
Males, especially in Texas and Arizona, choose rifles,shotguns, and handguns. California males appear to choose handguns. Typically, young and middle-age males appear to send their family or friends a message with their gory exits. A couple blankets placed over their heads when pressing a trigger would go along way to help protect the innocent from the coming traumatic shock.
A Texas man, I learned from his family, took the suicide task to its utmost limits for shocking his loved ones. During a Sunday afternoon football game, a walked into his bedroom and returned with a 12 gauge shotgun. He sat down in the same seat he had arose from just a moment earlier, and without a word, placed the shotgun's barrel under his chin a pulled the trigger.
Before anyone in the family realized what had just occurred before their eyes, all four were splattered with the suicide victim's head contents and skull fragments. This family happened to call me from Texas because they had no insurance and no way to pay for this suicide cleanup. Since I was out of state, a pro-bono suicide cleanup a thousand miles a way would not happen.
I have wondered over the years about this one suicide and the suicide victim's state of mind. In what way would he have thought so little of others to sicken them for life?
Women rarely use handguns, in my experience. Usually drugs followed by decomposition follows. Razors also appear to find use among suicidal women and young females and teenage girls. Occasionally a throat cutting comes up. In these cases it's clear to me that a good deal of self-have played a role in dismantling the victim's life.
Suffocation
Suicide by suffocation take a good deal of commitment. I have no experience cleaning up after a deliberate suffocation or otherwise. Apparently these suicide victims do not remain down long enough to decompose. Often found quickly I've been informed, some appear accidental
Suffocation by plastic bag remains a more common form of suffocation, even though it's difficult. Victim's must must resist the urge to pull a suffocating plastic bag from their faces until they pass out and subsequent ally die from lack of oxygen. Some accidental suffocations occur for thrill seekers during masturbation. Apparently, placing a bag over one's head while in the act of self-titillation heighten the orgasm attained under duress of suffocation. Some succumb to the orgasm as their oxygen runs out and subsequently suffocate to death.
Hanging
Suicide by hanging has a definiteness to it unavailable to suicide by plastic bag suffocation. Once the victim looses their footing their lives shortly end. At times when a noose has tightened and the victim jumps from a height, their neck snap. With a broken neck, death may come very quickly. Sometimes the victim hangs and survives. Only, survival may now mean survival in a wheel chair.
My experience with suicides by hanging remains rare. Of the two hangings I have cleaned after, both had matured into decompositions. A decomposing body hanging in the air soon begins to swell mightily in the lower limbs. If the body continue decomposition long enough, its feet or legs may burst with the pull of gravity and weight of ballooning fluids.
Who Commits Suicide?
